Working Out What's Working Within You

There are so many things working within us and we often times don't even realize it. I know for me personally I have had to work on my anger. I've had anger issues since i was in high school. I never really knew the cause of my anger until just recently. Come to find out I had an unknowing anger towards what was thrown at me when I was just sixteen years old. I was diagnosed with Lupus. I guess I was angry that I was going to be sick for the rest of my life and there was nothing the doctors could do to make it go away. What made it worse was the fact that before that appointment I made a poem for my writing class on how I was going to overcome Lupus. The entire trajectory of my life changed from that moment. Life as I once knew it was over. I no longer knew life in a pleasant way. Despite what was happening to me I had to continue. I began to suffer, and live life in fear.

"Despite what was happening to me I had to continue."

To work out what was working within me I had to acknowledge my feelings. I had to sit with how this circumstance made me feel. There was nothing that could be done to change the fact that I had Lupus, and it wasn't going away. I couldn't change the outcome so there was no reason to hang onto the anger any longer. We often times don't even realize that we are carrying around anger, bitterness, unforgiveness etc. We go through life believeing that's just the way we are when in reality it's because of something that happened to us. The things we carry as a result overtake us and becomes what leads us. We operate off of what we are feeling rather than addressing how we feel. In order for us to work out what's been working within us we have to aknowledge, address, and accept the circumstance.